I’ve been giving more thoughts to what marriage is all about. (See my last post on the topic.) It has occurred to me that there is one critical issue that people fail to understand about the matter.
Marriage is not about “love.”
That is, marriage is not about love as most people define it: romantic sentiment, high emotion, and (let’s be honest) sex. True, these things are important, even vital, motivators toward marriage. But the emotional tides ebb. No marriage escapes the latter part of “better or worse”: the sick kids, the late payments, the lost jobs, the in-laws, the big move, the disability, the empty nest, the schools, the funerals, etc. Too many couples are divorcing simply because they don’t understand what they really signed up for.
Isn’t marriage the cornerstone of society? Practically speaking, it’s how we get more people. And a man and woman who are emotionally healthy and committed to each other will raise children who will be well prepared to raise their own kids someday and continue the cycle. Jeopardized marriages jeopardize the entire cycle.
Marriage isn’t just about two people, it’s about everyone. It’s not just about romance, but about exemplifying true love — unconditional commitment to another’s well-being — to the community.
Where marriage as an institution is failing, we need to reinforce its pillars, not tear them down, because supporting marriage supports us all.
